What is the difference between a thriving, secure homeschooler versus a resentful, hurt one? Relationship! Parents who build a strong relationship with their teens do these three things.

Praise

Begin with praise; it’s a healing ointment for your teen’s insecurity. It reassures him of your unconditional love. It inspires him to attain new and higher levels of responsibility.

Praise is more important in the homeschool world because parents have additional roles of teacher and principal. If not reassured, a critique of your teen’s work may be falsely interpreted as a critique of his worth. A teacher’s voice reaches the mind, but a parent’s voice touches the heart. An absence of praise promotes insecurity, and insecurity pushes teens to find someone or something else for affirmation.

Protect

Teens need time alone with each parent to be listened to, loved, and enjoyed. When asked to respond anonymously, my students always say they want more undivided, threat-free time with their parents. Teens often dread a fun moment turning into a lecture or a reprimand. To avoid this, they may shut down and hold back from opening up.

Listen. Guard your response. Encourage. Don’t throw correction out the window, but be clear about when it’s fun time and when it’s time to have a serious discussion. Separate the two, and your teen will develop a trusting relationship with you.

Prioritize

Prioritize your relationships. God must come first, our spouse second, and our children third.

The best thing we can give our teen is a strong marriage. When we put our spouse before our teen, it gives them security and structure. After these things, our teen must feel more important than the demands of our schedule.

From birth to 18, we only get 939 weeks with our children. They go by fast. Build a strong relationship with your teen by praising, protecting, and prioritizing.